Winging It: A Life Lesson from Phoebe Buffay

A plan? If Phoebe doesn’t need a pla, then neither do we.

Friends is an iconic show. Lots of it has not aged well, and looking back on it can raise a lot of eyebrows. There are some things that still hold up and are very relatable.

One, Joey doesn’t share food. Smart Joey. Evan also doesn’t share food.

Chandler, my spirit animal draped in sweater vests, also remains relatable due to his awkwardness and reliance on dad jokes over all other means of communication.

Most relatable to me right now? One line by Phoebe:


YASSS Phoebe. Yaaasssss.

Phoebe talks about not having a “pla.” Lots of the time she is dismissed by the other friends for not having her life together the same way they do. In the end though (15 year old spoilers, sorry) she has the family she wanted and continues to live life happily. She dives in to anything and everything and seems to always come out better for the experience.

I love planning things out and knowing exactly what’s going on. I like the control, and knowing what to expect and being prepared. Currently though, some things in life just feel like I still don’t have a “pla.”

And magically, that’s actually fine.

I want to start podcasting and sharing ideas & stories with the world. Do I have a plan for it’s content, what to talk about or even who to talk to? Not really. I have about a P, maybe an L, and I’m still searching for the A & N. I’m going to do it, but it’s going to be about diving into the deep end.

Hell, I started writing this post only knowing that I was going to talk about Pheebs and I’ve been able to hold it together so far. Not too shabby!

Lots of things in life we don’t do because we don’t know how it will go. As a perfectionist, this is one of my greatest downfalls. I fear even starting because I’m not prepared, and I’m not ready, and it won’t be perfect.

If we spend all of our time waiting, we’re never going to feel like the time is perfect.

So instead, dive in.* Figure it out as you go along. It’s what I’ve done with this site, with switching jobs, with other projects I’ve taken on. It is absolutely horrifying sometimes, but so long as you even have a P, the rest of the plan may just fall into place.

*The choice of “dive in” as a thing to say here makes me laugh because I am, by my own admission, an absolutely terrible swimmer. I swim like a rock.

I know lots of times I will still be hesitant, but the more practice I allow myself to dive in and try, the less scary not having a “pla” can feel. I’ve been working to try and give myself permission to try instead of needing to succeed. I hope y’all find the same.

Thanks for reading! If you like the things I post, follow me on Facebook here to see when new posts come up and for information on things like podcast episodes and to provide feedback.

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